top of page

The Jefferson Times

Don't worry, it's not news. Just fake news. 


The State Department agreed to allow the release of 3-D gun blueprints designed by a self-proclaimed, “crypto-anarchist.” The Department said the decision will ensure U.S. citizens and their enemies have access to build their own weapons for any war the President may incite via Twitter. The White House echoed the State Department’s claims by outlining three ways the settlement directly aligns with the administration’s core values:

1. Background checks to prove mental sanity are not required. 2. The President is committed to partnering with thugs who seek to destroy civilization for their own benefit.

3. The settlement completely reverses the actions of the first Black President.

Furthermore, the White House stated that should people survive if struck by 3-D guns, the settlement will create many, many, many new jobs.

doi pic.jpg
bottom of page